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Therapy Alternatives

Alone Holidays?
Coping with Isolation   
I live alone and am terribly lonely on holidays. I am widowed, had no children and have no siblings. It makes me feel extremely depressed during times when others celebrate family  click for full text

Anger Management
Is it Biblical?   
One of my best friends at church is always angry. No one can do or say anything right&she seems to look for stuff to "blow up" at. We don't know how to handle this anymore. Any suggestions?  click for full text

Anger Repressed
Is it Unhealthy?   
Don't you think it's unhealthy to repress our emotions of anger? Shouldn't we get our angry feelings out? Shouldn't we vent our feelings to stay healthy? That's what I hear we should do.  click for full text

Angry Controlling People
How to Respond   
A friend of mine is so touchy that almost anything I say sets her off. She threatens suicide&seems manipulative. Any advice?  click for full text

Argumentative Church Goers
Handling Fights   
How do you handle argumentative, angry people from church? I expect bad behaviors&attitudes at work. But, I don't know what to do with aggressive, unpleasant fighters at church.  click for full text

Bitterness&Resentment Conquered
It's hard to forgive people who hurt us - especially unbelievers who can't "repent" because they don't believe they did anything wrong. Or immature believers who can't handle confrontations. Help!  click for full text

Christians Misbehaving
How to React?   
I've tried to be nice to a new believer at church. But, she repeatedly gets mad and makes false accusations. Plus, her lifestyle is awful. Should I keep trying?  click for full text

Cliques&Snobs in Our Churches?
There are groups in my church who are snobs. They invite each other places but leave others out - even those who are alone&say they would like to go. Will they get away with excluding others?  click for full text

Conflict Resolution
In Our Churches   
Is there a clear, biblical way to handle disputes, arguments, or mismanagement of funds in a church or with Christians in general? Where is it and how do we go about implementing such a plan?  click for full text

 Cross-Dressing Cutters
Handling it Biblically   
My neighbor's children are into cross-dressing and cutting. Does the Bible say anything about this? Should I say anything to the parents about it?  click for full text

How to Think Right   
I feel so "down" lately. It seems like God is far away and I can't shake the feeling of darkness all around me. Any ideas how to get back to more sunshine and lightness in our lives?  click for full text

Divorce a Gay Spouse?
I'm in a terrible situation - my husband has announced he's gay&is leaving us. He says he can't change&is hooked on pornography. He says it's an "addiction"&he can't change. Should I divorce?  click for full text

 Divorce Among Christians
My husband is an alcoholic who beats me and our children from time to time. I think I should divorce him but our pastor says the Bible forbids this. Any thoughts on our situation?  click for full text

Family Con Artists
How We Respond   
My brother was a con artist and a drug addict. I want nothing to do with him anymore. He says he has changed&needs money for a car to get a job. But, I think he is conning us again.  click for full text

Favoritism in Families
How to Cope   
I have a problem I can't get beyond. My mother favors my brother's kids&goes to all their events. But she doesn't come to ours. Worse, she calls&tells us the great time she's having. Advice?  click for full text

Fear Conquered
I can't get beyond fearing things like losing my job and becoming homeless, my spouse leaving or my kids getting sick. Any suggestions?  click for full text

No Strings Attached…   
I'm having a hard time forgiving someone who really hurt me. I heard that we can't really give forgiveness to unrepentant people. So do I still have to forgive the offender?  click for full text

Forgiving&Loving Ourselves?
I've heard it said, "You need to forgive yourself." But, forgiveness comes from another, right? How do you forgive yourself? Beside, what if we don't love ourselves to begin with?  click for full text

Fringe People
I Don't Belong Anywhere   
I have a hard time trusting others&forming friendships. I've tried but don't belong anywhere. My pastor says I should quit being isolated so my character can be developed. I feel like a failure…  click for full text

 Funeral Fights
Breaking up Families?   
We have seen families break up due to arguments over funeral arrangements. We have witnessed people yelling at each other as the body is being lowered into the ground. These bitter feelings persist  click for full text

Gossips - the Meddling Kind
Actions to Take?   
My daughter-in-law lies in bed all day but manages to get up to see her shrink or to shop for new clothes. I keep telling my son to quit catering to her.  click for full text

Granddaughter's Misbehavior
Should I Intervene?   
My grandchild is only 9 yrs. old. But, my daughter puts make-up on her and paints her nails and toenails for $60 weekly. She doesn't insist she do homework or chores. Should I say anything to her?  click for full text

Grandparents Buying Love
We love our grandkids. But, we can't give them the expensive things their other grandparents are buying for them. We can't afford it. Will they love them more? Any suggestions?  click for full text

Guilt - Tackling This Joy Stealer
Kurt Krowel   
One of the biggest joy stealers of all is guilt. Guilt is huge. Guilt is a heavyweight. And guilt can slowly, gradually squeeze the joy of salvation out of each and every one of us…ripped off by  click for full text

Guilt Recurring
A Broken Record   
I keep feeling guilty for things that happened in my past over and over again. Even worse, my unbelieving family won't let me forget and still treat me like a bad person. Any thoughts on this?  click for full text

Happy Church Goers
A Mirage?   
People seem so "happy" in church. I feel like the only one who is such a mess. Any advice to get past all the "happy people" in church when I feel so broken? What's there for me?  click for full text

Holes in your Head
Brain Affected by Thoughts?   
New research reveals that unforgiving, resentful thoughts cause the "memory trees" in a brain's dendrites to become sparse and thorny. The memory trees look as if dark abscesses have taken root! Ouch!  click for full text

A Gift?   
I heard a pastor say that being "gay" is a "gift from God" and that homosexuals are "perfectly and wonderfully made" (mocking scripture).  click for full text

 Homosexuality in Marriage
My daughter cries and says she doesn't like Christians referring to her lifestyle as an "abomination." How should I respond?

Before discussing this, do you hold to the authority of Scripture?  click for full text

We all know people who are faithful but aggressive church goers . But, don't you think God created some of us to be "hotheads?" We're the ones who get things done - good organizers..  click for full text

Influences of Others
The Company We Keep   
My work environment is awful. But, I can't really go elsewhere due to the poor economy. Suggestions?  click for full text

Jealousy - Tackling this Joy Stealer
Kurt Krowel   
Remember that jealousy will most likely raise its head in the networks we have and circles in which we live…When jealousy visits, love takes a hike!  click for full text

Jealousy of Friends
Handling Envy   
I don't have much money or a family&I feel jealous of those who do. Advice?  click for full text

 Jealousy of Lord's Work?
Comparing Ministries   
I find myself fretting over the successful ministries of others. Sometimes it just doesn't seem fair. I converted later in life and came from an abusive background. So I didn't have time…  click for full text

Joy Stealer of Doubt - part 1
Kurt Krowel   
Did you ever wonder why? If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is it a hamburger when it's beef? Why  click for full text

Joyce Junkies
Closet Fans   
We're always looking for good teaching materials for our rescue mission residents. We want them to laugh as well as learn. Their lives have been difficult enough. So what helps them to cope?  click for full text

Judging AA
Use of "Higher Power"   
A close member of my family has belonged to AA and has been sober for 24 years. Her recovery is excellent&she has made amends. But, AA uses the term "higher power" instead of God? Acceptable?  click for full text

Dr. James Borror   
Loneliness is by itself, almost by definition a lack of intimacy with people. But it is really one of the major causes of the sense of loneliness.  click for full text

Manipulative Families
Sticky Marriages   
My nephew is going through an ugly divorce. His wife is in treatment for mental illness and has behaved in some bizarre ways. But, family members threaten to disown me if I see her. Any suggestions?  click for full text

Marital Affairs
Confessed in Public?   
I've been horrified by a Senator's confession of his trashy, private email between himself and a mistress. Is this something we're supposed to do if we have sinned? Air our dirty laundry in public?  click for full text

Marriage to a Shrew
Actions to Take?   
I read your articles on marriage&anger and wish I could get away from it. But, my wife is always mad&hypertensive and my ten-year old son is prone to classic temper tantrums. Divorce?Solutions?  click for full text

Overeating a Sin?
I once heard a Catholic priest say that if you can't get control over a cookie, then how will you get control over Satan! Good point. So how do we quit overeating in our culture? Is it a sin?  click for full text

Psychopathic People
Dealing with Them?   
A family member didn't grieve when her husband died, didn't care when her nephew died, ridiculed a friend for mourning her husband's death…What can I say to friends who ask about her behavior?  click for full text

Psychotherapy Skepticism
Good for your Health?   
I found your 4-part articles on Alternatives to Therapy. They were really good and helped me a lot. But, why are you so strongly against mainstream psychotherapy or psychology?  click for full text

 Psychotic Retribution
Toward Children?   
A mother at church kept my child from making friends - by segregating her with male groups. When I asked to put my girl back with girls, this mother threw a temper-tantrum and sent emails everywhere.  click for full text

Recovery Programs
Are they Biblical?   
What do you think of "recovery" based on secular 12-step programs?

Not much! Recovery programs teach people that sin is sickness. A disease model becomes the focus - not the need for repentance  click for full text

Rejecting Invitations
From Church Members?   
Thanks for your website. Here goes: We are constantly invited to get together with a couple we just don't like. The wife is irritable and touchy. I can't say or do anything without making her mad..  click for full text

Rejecting Rejected?
When or Why?   
What kind of stupid ignoramuses are you to suggest rejecting the already rejected in society - those with psychiatric histories? How about loving enemies? Forgiving? Turning the other cheek?  click for full text

The Art of Getting Even   
My husband is involved in internet porn. It hurts me so badly that I find myself doing things I wouldn't usually do. How can I live for Christ under these circumstances? Any suggestions?  click for full text

Smoking Ban Fair?
I had to go to a Christian facility to help get my life back together. But, they don't allow smoking - not even outside. This is really tough for lifetime smokers. Some of us get kicked out. Fair?  click for full text

Standing Up for our Rights?
Pastor Brian Johnson   
Our readers ask us about standing up for their rights. They don't like "turn the other cheek" or "bless enemies"&think their anger is "righteous" - like when Jesus overturned tables. Advice? (K&V)  click for full text

Christians checking out?   
What happens to Christians who commit suicide?  click for full text

 Suicide Over Lost Riches?
I just learned that the German businessman who committed suicide over his lost riches was a Christian! How do we and his family cope with something like this? Is he in heaven?  click for full text

 Supporting Needy Grown Kids
Rescue Mission Philosophy   
Our son has been a drug addict and mentally ill for at least 35 years. We've bailed him out of jail, bought him cars and supported him financially. Now we are in our eighties and fear what happens..  click for full text

Tackling the Joy Stealer of Anger, part 1
Kurt Krowel   07/17/2006
Expressions of anger appear to be on the rise. Today we have people shooting each other on the freeway in America over incidents that, ten years ago, would have just produced either a few expletives,  click for full text

Tackling the Joy Stealer of Anger, part 2
Kurt Krowel   07/23/2006
Wrong anger - sinful anger - is nothing more than a sophisticated version of a temper tantrum. Just because we can articulate speech doesn't mean it's any more justified…it defiles everyone around  click for full text

Tackling the Joy Stealers in Life - Discouragement
Kurt Krowel   
I'm going to begin a new series of messages - tackling the issues in our lives that rob us of joy. I'm talking aout those things which tend to steal away our enthusiasm for living…  click for full text

Temptation - Tackling this Joy Stealer
By Kurt Krowel   
You've heard me say before that there are 3 certainties in life - death, taxes and plaque. Let me add a fourth item to that list - temptation.  click for full text

Therapy Alternatives - Intro
Psychology is one of the most destructive forces to permeate our churches in the past 200 years. It promotes narcissism, a false goal of "happiness," and emphasizes focusing upon one's past rather…  click for full text

Therapy Alternatives - part 1
A goal to be "happy?"   
Many of us operate under the illusion that we are supposed to be "happy" and "fulfilled." Does your Bible say that? Mine says I can have joy and peace. But, it doesn't promise "happiness."  click for full text

Therapy Alternatives - part 2
Dwelling on the Past?   
Is your past the problem? Many therapists insist that patients "meditate" on all that is bad or wrong in their lives - we must find the "root" of our problems. Is this true? What does the Bible say?  click for full text

Therapy Alternatives - part 3
Obsessive Thoughts Eliminated?   
Can you stop obsessing over certain things? Most therapists would have you think you can't. Does the Bible give us solutions to obsessive thoughts?  click for full text

Therapy Alternatives - part 4
Anger Catharsis Needed?   
Should we "get our anger out?" Should we find "repressed feelings?" Must we demonstrate anger and discontent to those who have hurt us?  click for full text

Coping in Difficult Times   
My spouse died 1 year ago. I'm still terribly depressed, lonely and afraid. My church tells me I need to move on with my life. But how do I do that after 30 years of marriage? Any advice?  click for full text

Work Identity?
I lost my job about a year ago and I can't find work. I've come to realize that my whole identity - who I am - has always been my work. I'm so depressed I can hardly go on. Any suggestions for me?  click for full text

Handling a Child's Friend   
My son's friend is a terrible bully who displays temper tantrums. His Mom thinks his behavior is okay and "cute." (It's not)! What should I do?  click for full text

Forgiving Deceased Parents
How do I forgive a parent who mistreated me but is now deceased? My parents were not believers, and I am filled with rage over what they did to me and my brother.  click for full text

Thoughts Controlled
How-to Guide   
I can't forgive someone and I can't stop thinking about it. I have tried and tried but I can't stop thinking about the hurts. Any suggestions?  click for full text

Unconditional Forgiveness
MacArthur on Jay Adams   
You presented Jay Adams' and John MacArthur's views on forgiveness very well. But, Adams' says to forgive only those who repent. Shouldn't we forgive everyone - not just those who repent?

 click for full text

Joy Stealer of Doubt - part 2
Kurt Krowel   
Q. I have so many doubts&don't know how to change them. Advice?

Doubts are not sin. But if you don't manage and handle doubts the right way, they can lead to despair - or worse.  click for full text

Joy Stealer - Resentment
Pastor Kurt Krowel   
Bitterness, resentment, envy, and grudges all seem to hang around in the same group…but resentment builds slowly and gradually over time. …and you can have a volatile situation..rage and violence  click for full text

Joy Stealer - Resentment - Part 2
Pastor Kurt Krowel   
Resentment and bitterness can and do take a great toll on our lives - physically, mentally, and spiritually. Resentment demands a high price of anyone who would choose to nurture it.  click for full text

Joy Stealer - Worry
Kurt Krowel   
Worry is being anxious about something that doesn't exist in fact, but which we believe does or might exist. …your mind divided…thoughts ..future focused - a future not ours to control!  click for full text

Joy Stealer - Worry - Part 2
Kurt Krowel   
Jesus said to focus in on only one thing in life: the kingdom of God and the values which it stands for. When we do that, everything else in life will fall into place..the King takes care of His own.  click for full text

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