Argumentative Church Goers Handling Fights

Q. How do you handle argumentative, angry people from church? I expect bad behaviors and attitudes at work. But, I don’t know what to do with aggressive, unpleasant fighters at church. I can’t believe I even have to ask this question!

Answer:

Avoid Such People

2 Timothy 3:1-5 gives a list of things people do that we are warned about. The list includes traits like these:

– arrogance
– being ungrateful
– unforgiving
– unloving
– gossiping
– considering nothing as sacred
– being prideful
– betraying friends
– pretending to be religious
– denying the very power that could make them godly

The concluding sentence in 2 Timothy says we must “stay away from people like that” (v. 5). You can avoid these people and ask them to leave your group if they won’t cooperate. Enlist the aid of church leaders if you need to.

Embrace Faith, Love, & Peace

In contrast, the paragraph preceding this list of undesirable traits tells us,

“Follow anything that makes you want to do right. Pursue faith and love and peace, and enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts. …don’t get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights” (2 Timothy 2:22-23, NLT).

Parallel Passages Say the Same Thing

These passages from 2 Timothy are not the only verses that encourage us to pursue peace and to avoid those who deliberately cause dissension.

Galatians 5:19 also tells us that those who are following their sinful natures will engage in …

“hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, divisions, the feeling that everyone is wrong except those in your own little group, envy…and other kinds of sins.”

Paul warns that these will not “inherit the Kingdom of God.”

That is serious business!

Threatening Our Inheritance

According to several biblical scholars including Paul Benware, Joseph Dillow and Moody scholar Erwin Lutzer, these particular passages in Galatians refer to Christians (not just to unbelievers).

They point out that “entering” heaven and “inheriting” all we were meant to have in heaven – are two different things.

In other words, we are not to practice “cheap grace” and allow Christians to sow discord among other group members. While all Christians enter heaven, not all will inherit everything they were meant to have.

Fruits of Righteous Living

In contrast, Galatians 5:22 lets us know clearly that “when the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us:

love,
joy,
peace,
patience,
kindness,
goodness,
faithfulness,
gentleness,
and self-control…

If we are living now by the Holy Spirit, let us follow the Holy Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. Let us not become conceited, or irritate one another, or be jealous of one another”
 (v. 25-26).

Forgive

All Christians need to remember that forgiveness is something that each of us desires to cultivate in our lives. Matthew 6:15 warns,

“if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.”

God Avenges All Wrongs Against Us

Part of learning to forgive means that we know our Father in Heaven will avenge all wrongs against us. We are to place seemingly unforgivable acts at our Father’s feet and allow Him to right all wrongs against us:

“Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY,’ says the Lord” (Romans 12:19, NASB).

Seeking Peace

Finally, we are encouraged to seek peace in our lives and relationships. Romans 12:18 tells us “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.”

Sunday School Class or Bible Study

We advise all of you to continue with your activities at church. But, avoid inviting any whom you know would deliberately disrupt or cause arguments in your group. Get in the Word and study hard.

Paul advises all of us to “Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth” (2 Tim. 2:15).

We can’t study effectively if there are argumentative, hostile people in our groups. No…we are told to avoid such people! (2 Tim. 3:5). Every single one of us are to make the most of our time because our lives are short and the days are evil (Eph. 5:15).

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References:

Beers, Ronald. 2007. Life’s questions with answers from the Bible. Carol Stream, ILL: Tyndale.

Benware, Paul. 2002. The believer’s payday. Chattanooga, TN: AMG.

Freeman, Criswell. 2004. God’s survival guide. Nashville, TN: Elm Hill Books.

Lutzer, Erwin. 1998. Your eternal reward. Chicago: Moody.