Childhood Decision Making
Should kids be making many decisions on their own – like how they should dress, who their friends are, where to go, what to do, whether or not they should practice a sport or daily play the piano or the guitar?
The answer may surprise you…
Childhood Frontal Lobe Development
A reader points out that new scientific studies and MRI imaging on brain development shows that the last part of the brain to develop are the frontal lobes. Frontal lobes are responsible for reasoning, problem solving and clear decision making.
We used to think that frontal lobe development was finished in early childhood. But, we now know that this area of the brain does not finish maturing until the early twenties. These images are actual brain scans starting at 5 years of age – notice that the darker blue is age 20. This means the part of the brain which involves making good decisions is not developed “physically” until at least 20 years of age!!
That is a shocking discovery for post modern parents…
Kids Can’t Make Adult Choices – They are Kids!
So much for giving kids too many choices!
Parents need to stop this – their children aren’t capable of “wise” choices. This isn’t a “value” call. Children are simply not developed enough in their brains to engage in adult decision-making processes.
Parents who allow their kids to dictate what they will watch on T.V., how they will use the internet, where they will go after school, when they will drive a car and how they will dress are asking for trouble down the road. This isn’t wise parenting to allow children to determine everything about their lives.
Too Much Freedom Could Kill Them
In fact, too much freedom could kill them! According to our referenced article, “The frontal lobes help put the brakes on a desire for thrills and taking risk – a building block of adolescence, but, they’re also one of the last areas of the brain to develop fully.”
This means your child is more prone to drink and drive than you are. It explains why so many teenagers are killed in auto accidents due to reckless driving, thrill seeking, and driving while under the influence. It also explains why childhood promiscuity is a major problem in our Churches. Impulsive behavior without regard for consequences comes naturally to our teenagers – that’s what makes them immature. They are different from adults.
Allow Smaller Choices within Parameters
Instead, parents may wish to allow their kids to make smaller decisions within clear parameters. “Yes, you can wear this kind of bathing suit and choose your own colors. No, you can’t wear that style – it could invite trouble and I don’t want you to get hurt.”
Parents, YOU decide when your kids do homework, if and when they practice a sport or a musical instrument, and when or where they go. Within your stated parameters you can allow them to make smaller decisions. But, they are not physically or mentally capable of making important decisions about their lives. That’s your job!
Kids are not just our “Friends”
Remember, children are not your “friends.” They are your children and you have a God-given stewardship to raise them according to a Biblical Worldview. To quote famous author Dr. Chip Ingram, “Our job is not to make them happy, but to help them to become Holy.”
“Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6, NASB).
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A special “Thanks” to K.D. for providing this vital information!
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References:
“The Adolescent Brain – Why Teenagers Think and Act Differently,”
www.EDinformatics.com
Brain Scan courtesy of National Institute of Mental Health.
www.nimh.nih.gov
Ingram, Chip. Walk Thru the Bible Ministries. www.walkthru.org.