Anger Catharsis Needed?
Myth 4 – I Have to get My Feelings Out
A Lie
The theory that patients should express all of their feelings, or avoid “repressed feelings,” began decades ago. Psychologists warned that repressed feelings could lead to high blood-pressure, angry outbursts, shootings, murders, violent behaviors, and other manifestations of emotional illness.
But, this is a lie. Furthermore, it is contrary to Scripture.
Anger Ruins Relationships
Perhaps nothing has caused more broken or severed relationships than this ugly myth. The lie that one must “express” all hostile feelings to achieve mental health has led to divorce. It has permanently scarred family relationships. It has destroyed friendships, and it has led to job losses, to name just a few consequences.
Catharsis Causes Illness
Worse, medical studies have recently exposed that high blood-pressure is made worse by displays of temper! A person who allows his or her emotions to escalate out-of-control becomes more hostile, irritable and hypertensive, not less!
In other words, “catharsis,” or emptying the bowels of feelings, or “purging” emotions, exacerbates high blood-pressure and hypertension. The reader should note that other illnesses are theorized to have their origins in unrestrained anger as well (McMillen, M.D., Stern, M.D. 1984, 205-210).
Man Subject to God Alone
Regardless of psychological theories or medical studies, a Christian is subject to God’s Word, not to man’s psychological theories. Period. End of discussion. The Christian is told to behave according to God’s standards.
God’s standards tell the believer to “walk by the Spirit” and not to carry out the desire of the flesh. The deeds of the flesh include “outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, and factions” (Galatians 5:20).
Christians are to set aside deeds of the flesh. The fruits of the Spirit, however, include “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control” (Galatians 5:22-23).
Believers are to actively pursue fruits of the spirit by meditating on God’s Word and by behaving in a manner consistent with New Testament Christianity. In this case, it doesn’t matter how one “feels.” What matters is how one “behaves.”
Anger Causes Loss at the Judgment Seat of Christ
The persistent lie that one must express all of his ugly feelings is destructive and ruinous. A believer must not succumb to such lies, or he risks severe consequences.
The Bible tells us that “those who practice such things (deeds of the flesh) will not inherit the kingdom of God.” (Galatians 5:21). That does not mean a Christian loses his salvation. All Christians enter heaven. But, the one who behaves badly may not “inherit” all he was meant to gain at the judgment seat of Christ (Benware 2002, 36-40).
That is clear enough.
Are you seeing a pattern here? At almost every point, psychology runs counter to Christianity. The church must become aware of this and expose the fact that psychology is a “cistern which holds no water” (Jeremiah 2:13).
Psychology is an idolatrous object of trust.
3 Things Judged by Christ:
1. Every Careless Word Judged
Never forget that God will judge our words: “I tell you on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned (Matthew 12:36-37).
False Memories & Gossip
Christians, as well as unbelievers, will give an account for everything they have said to others. This includes gossip and slander which emerges from the psychiatrist’s couch!
We hate to tell you this, but your therapist is not a priest. He is a “witch doctor” of sorts. He not only encourages you to reveal all, but he teaches that emotional catharsis benefits you as well. He prods and pokes until a patient finally begins to make-up stories which please the therapist.
As a result the therapist never appears to be satisfied with the “truth.” This is the genesis of the “false memory syndrome.” FMS, or “false memory syndrome,” becomes part of the lure of psychology’s witch-doctors! This happens more frequently than we wish.
Scriptural Recourse:
Matthew 18:15 tells the believer that if someone sins against you, you must go to that person and tell him about it alone. If he refuses to listen to you, then you should take one or two others with you. If that fails, then you should bring it before the church. How utterly contrary this is to psychotherapeutic techniques which train people to become professional gossips or liars!
Biblical Conflict Resolution
Let’s look at Matthew 18:15-17
Matthew 18:15 “If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private if he listens to you, you have won your brother.”
:16 “But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that ‘BY THE MOUTH OF TWO OR THREE WITNESSES EVERY FACT MAY BE CONFIRMED.’
:17 “If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.” (NASB)
Step 1
MacArthur states that “the goal of this process is restoration. If successful, you have gained your brother. Step 1 is to tell him his fault privately.”
(v. 15).
Step 2
“If he remains impenitent, follow step 2: ‘take with you one or two more,’ to fulfill the principle of Deut. 19:15.” (v. 16).
Step 3
“If he still refuses to repent, step 3 requires that the matter be reported to the whole assembly (v. 17) – so that all may lovingly pursue the sinning brother’s reconciliation. But failing that, step 4 means that the offender must be excommunicated, regarded by the church as ‘a heathen and a tax collector.’…
Excommunication
The idea is not merely to punish the offender, or to shun him completely, but to remove him as a detrimental influence from the fellowship of the church, and henceforth to regard him as an evangelistic prospect rather than as a brother. Ultimately, the sin for which he is excommunicated is a hard-hearted impenitence”
(MacArthur Study Bible).
Sadly, few Christians are even aware of this biblical procedure for handling dissensions in the church. Please. Become familiar with Matthew 18:15-17 and share it with your church. Psychologists have all but done away with the proper methodology for church conflict-resolution. We need to take it back.
2. Motives Judged
“Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart…” (1 Cor. 4:5).
Listen carefully: Christians are not allowed to theorize as to why people do things. We are not allowed to judge the motives of others. The Bible tells us that only God is able to judge the intents of the heart,
“For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart” (Heb. 4:12 ESV).
Think carefully: What business does the psychiatrist or psychologist have in evaluating “why” people do things? The Word of God tells us that only God has the ability to judge that.
3. Works Judged
“For God is not so unjust as to overlook your work and the love that you showed for his sake in serving the saints, as you still do” (Hebrews 6:10).
We need to treat other believers and people with care and consideration, not with callous, belligerent anger.
Biblical Warnings about Anger
1. What are the effects of anger?
Genesis 27:41-43 “Esau hated Jacob because he had stolen his blessing, and he said to himself…’I will kill Jacob.’ But someone got wind of what Esau was planning and reported it to Rebekah. She sent for Jacob and told him,…’Flee to your uncle Laban in Haran.”
Anger isolates us from others.
Proverbs 22:24 “Keep away from angry, short-tempered people.”
Anger leads to conflict and arguments.
Psalm 37:8 “Stop your anger!…Do not envy others – it only leads to harm.”
James 1:20 “Your anger can never make things right in God’s sight.”
Anger produces ungodliness and evil motives in us.
Biblical Responses to Anger
2. What is the best way to deal with an angry person?
Proverbs 29:8 “Mockers can get a whole town agitated, but those who are wise will calm anger.”
Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger.”
Proverbs 22:24-25 “Keep away from angry, short-tempered people, or you will learn to be like them and endanger your soul.”
Reacting to anger with anger almost always intensifies the problem.
Wisdom and gentleness almost always calm the angry person.
(TouchPoints for Hurting People 2004, 13-15).
Biblical Response to Injustice
The commonly quoted Scripture verse, “Be angry and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil” (Eph. 4:26 NKJV), has to do with “righteous indignation” or anger at evil (MacArthur Study Bible). Nowhere does the Bible tell us to vent unrestrained anger.
How, then, should the Christian respond to unfairness and injustice from others?
1. God is Sovereign
First, we must remember that God is sovereign over every area of our lives.
He controls our circumstances, the people around us, and turns evil actions against us to good (Ro. 8:28).
O. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6 NASB).
Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us to simply trust God and quit trying to figure-out everything. Don’t try to figure-out why that driver cut you off. Don’t try to figure-out why the store clerk was nasty. Don’t try to figure-out why your unbelieving sister dumped her toxic anger on you. All situations and all people are in God’s hands. He directs everything that happens to you. Always remember that God is the judge of others’ motives and intentions, not us.
P. “Man’s steps are ordained by the Lord. How then can man understand his way?” (Proverbs 20:24 NASB).
Q.“The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps” (Proverbs 16:9 NASB).
2. God Turns Evil against us to Good
R. “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28 NASB).
The NASB translates Romans 8:28 best. God “causes” everything to work together for your good.
The reverse, however, is true for unbelievers. In their case, nothing works together for their good! Regarding unbelievers, we should pray that God will forgive them for their poor behaviors and lead them to repentance. After all, they have no future, hope, or purpose without God. Knowing of their hopelessness helps us to forgive them. They desperately need our prayers.
(R.C. Sproul, “If God is good, Why do I suffer?” Tape).
3. Unfair Acts don’t hinder God’s Will for You
S. “If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31 NASB).
4. God is our Avenger
T. “Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord” (Romans 12:19 NASB).
We are commanded not to seek revenge for the evil committed against us.
The Lord tells us plainly that we should not pronounce judgment before the Lord comes. At the Judgment, God will then disclose the motives and intentions of every person who has hurt you (1 Cor. 4:5).
“Therefore do not go on passing judgment before the time, but wait until the Lord comes who will both bring to light the things hidden in the darkness and disclose the motives of men’s hearts…” (1 Corinthians 4:5, NASB).
If we try to “get even,” or “pay him back for what he did to me,” then we are directly disobeying God.
Leviticus 19:18 “Never seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone”…
1 Peter 3:9 “Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate when people say unkind things about you.”
Romans 12:17 19 “Never pay back evil for evil to anyone…never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God. For it is written, ‘I will take vengeance I will repay those who deserve it” (NLT).
4th. Assignment – part 4
1. Memorize verses O-T listed below. Write them on blank business cards.
2. Review verses A-N frequently.
O. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6 NASB).
P. “Man’s steps are ordained by the Lord. How then can man understand his way?” (Proverbs 20:24 NASB).
Q. “The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps” (Proverbs 16:9 NASB).
R. “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28 NASB).
S. “If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Ro. 8:31 NASB).
T. “Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord” (Romans 12:19 NASB).
Something to Remember:
Unrestrained emotions hurt others, alienate others, destroy relationships, causes divorce, and leads to health problems. Anger is counter productive.
Rather than become angry or out-of-control, we need to remember that
1. God is sovereign (Proverbs 3:5-6; 20:24; 16:9).
2. Unfair acts against us don’t hinder God’s will for us (Ro. 8:28-31).
3. God is our avenger (Ro. 12:19).
Review – Parts 1-3:
– The Lord wants to conform you into the image of His Son (Ro. 8:29).
Trials, suffering, and persecutions help to form Christ-like character, and bring rewards in Heaven.
– We are in the School of Suffering training for reigning with Christ (2 Tim. 2:12).
– God wants you to forget the past and to press on (Phil. 3:13-14).
There is no value in reliving the past.
– The Bible tells you to think about God and about lovely things (Phil. 4:8).
– We should not meditate on the sad and bad.
– He instructs you to quit worrying and to pray about everything (Phil. 4:6-7).
– We are to be thankful for what we do have.
– He tells you to continually renew your mind (Romans 12:2).
– Replace lies with truth. Memorize Scripture (Ps 119:11).
– He tells you that faith comes from hearing the Word of Christ (Ro. 10:17).
– Let God speak to you through tapes from godly men and women.
– The Lord commands you to bring all thoughts captive to Christ (2 Cor. 10:5). Over-ride obsessive thoughts with godly tapes.
Scripture Verses parts 1-3
A. “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance” (James 1:2, NASB).
B. “In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold, which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ” (1 Peter 1:6-7, NASB).
C. “Blessed are you when men cast insults at you, and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely, on account of Me. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you” (Matthew 5:11, NASB).
D. “If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you” (1 Peter 4:14).
E. “Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I came to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law, and a man’s enemies will be the members of his household” (Matthew 10:34-36, NASB).
F. “The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick. Who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9, NASB).
G. “Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth” (Colossians 3:2, NASB).
H. …“one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead”…(Philippians 3:13-14, NASB).
I. …“whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Philippians 4:6-8, NASB).
J. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:6-7, NASB).
K. “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind”…(Romans 12:2, ESV).
L. …“faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ (Romans 10:17, ESV).
M. …“bring every thought captive to Christ” (2 Cor. 10:5, ESV).
N. “God comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (2 Cor. 1:3-7, ESV).
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References:
Adams, Jay. 1986. The Biblical view of self-esteem, self-love, self-image. Eugene, OR: Harvest House.
Almy, Gary. 1994. Addicted to recovery. Eugene, OR: Harvest House.
Benware, Paul. 2002. The believer’s payday. Chattanooga, TN: AMG.
Ganz, Richard. 1993. PsychoBabble: The failure of modern psychology and the Biblical alternative. Wheaton, ILL: Crossway Books.
McMillen, S.I., David Stern. 1984. None of these diseases. Grand Rapids, MI: Fleming H. Revell, division of Baker Book House Co.
Owen, Jim. 1993. Christian psychology’s war on God’s Word. Santa Barbara, CA: EastGate Publishers.
Tyler, David and Kurt Grady. 2006. Deceptive diagnosis: When sin is called sickness. Bemidji, MN: Focus Publishing.
Authors Valorie Emilio holds an MA in History from UCLA focusing upon Christian origins. Ken received the MA in Biblical Studies from Louisiana Baptist University. They both received a V.O.M. Certificate in Persecuted Church Ministries from Oklahoma Wesleyan University.