Anger Repressed
Is it Unhealthy?
Q. Isn’t it unhealthy to repress our emotions of anger? Shouldn’t we get our angry feelings out? Shouldn’t we vent our feelings to stay healthy emotionally? That’s what I hear we should do from therapists. What does the Bible say about this?
Answer:
The theory that patients should express all of their feelings and get their angry feelings out began decades ago. Psychologists warned us that repressed feelings could lead to high blood-pressure, heart attacks, angry outbursts, shootings and other violent behaviors, murder and other hostile manifestations of emotional and physical illness.
Were they right?
An Urban Myth
Surprisingly, the idea that we all need to “vent” our emotions is a lie! It’s a firmly held urban myth. Instead, just the opposite is true.
Medical studies have recently exposed that high blood-pressure is made worse by displays of temper! (McMillen & Stern 2003, 205).
A person who allows his or her emotions to escalate out-of-control becomes more hostile, irritable and hypertensive – not less. In other words, “catharsis,” or emptying the bowels of feelings, exacerbates hypertension.
Listen to this:
“Anger places every cell in your entire body on red alert. Your stomach churns out acid. Your skin hairs stand upright. Your adrenal glands pour out adrenaline and steroids. Your pupils dilate. Your blood pressure shoots up. Your pulse races. You are ready to run or gun.
What a great response – if someone has just broken into your house! But what if you have an anger habit? What if your toddler has just spilled your coffee? What if a driver cuts you off in traffic? What if a shopper takes eleven items into the ten-item express line? If these minor irritations make you blow your stack, you probably have an anger habit. Your emotional dashboard may be on non-stop anger overload. Years of living on the angry edge can kill you” (McMillen 2003, 205).
Is this what you want for your life? I don’t.
Fashionable Theories
Regardless of current fashionable, psychological theories or medical studies, a Christian is subject to God’s Word, not to man’s psychological theories.
God’s standards tell the believer to “walk by the Spirit” and not carry out the desires of the flesh. The deeds of the flesh include “outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, and factions” (Galatians 5:20). Christians are to set aside deeds of the flesh – end of discussion.
Fruits of the Spirit
Instead, believers are to actively pursue fruits of the spirit by meditating on God’s Word and by behaving in a manner consistent with New Testament Christianity.
The fruits of the Spirit include “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control” (Gal. 5:22-23). In this case, it doesn’t matter how one “feels.” What matters is how one “behaves.”
Potentially Severe Consequences
The persistent lie that one must express or vent all of his ugly feelings is destructive and ruinous. It ruins marriages, friendships, and relationships at work.
A believer must not succumb to such lies or he risks severe consequences here on earth and in heaven as well. The Bible tells us unequivocally:
…”those who practice such things (deeds of the flesh) will not inherit the kingdom of God” (Galatians 5:21). Note that this biblical passage is addressed to Christians – not to unbelievers.
Cheap Grace Lulls us to Sleep
It does not mean that erring, hostile Christians will not “enter” into the kingdom of God. After all, it is by grace through faith that we are saved (Eph. 2:8). Our salvation is secure.
But, it does mean that saved believers may not inherit all they were meant to inherit – like receiving certain crowns or reigning with Christ (Benware 2002, 33-37).
The lure of “cheap grace” has lulled us to sleep in our modern day churches. Beware!
Biblical Solutions
The Christian is given clear guidelines for dealing with anger or hostility. Matthew 18:15 suggests that if someone sins against you, go to him and tell him about the offense. If he refuses to listen to you, then you should go again and take one or two others with you. If that fails, then you should bring it before the church.
Following Matthew 18 helps us to cope with irritations and limit the extent of our hostilities. (It’s tiring to constantly confront others with petty annoyances).
Give someone “a piece of your mind” and you not only give away your peace of mind but possibly your future glory as well!
Is it worth it?
______________________________
References:
Benware, Paul N. 2002. The believer’s payday. Chattanooga, TN: AMG.
Colbert, Don. 2003. Deadly emotions. Nashville, TN: Nelson.
McMillen S.I. & David E. Stern. 2003 ed. None of these diseases. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books.
Tyler, David and Kurt Grady. 2006. Deceptive diagnosis: When sin is called sickness. Bemidji, MN: Focus Publishing.
Authors Valorie Emilio received her M.A. in History from UCLA focusing upon early church history. Ken holds an M.A. in Biblical Studies from Louisiana Baptist University.