Q. I’ve tried to be nice to a new believer at church. But, she repeatedly gets mad and makes false accusations. Plus, her lifestyle is awful and I don’t think we should encourage her. Should I keep trying?
Answer:
How sad that the new believer is so insecure and angry that she can’t be grateful for your thoughtfulness. Sometimes new (and old) believers are terribly immature in their thinking. They can’t believe that someone would have “good” intentions and thoughts about them. They can’t imagine that others would – or even could – follow Philippians 4:8 which says,
…“whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (ESV).
Doing Nothing
So I suggest you do nothing. Your friend needs to mature in her own thinking. To do so she needs to attend church, meet other Christians and study her Bible. It is her Christian walk and personal relationship with the Lord that will enable her to grow. That is not your responsibility.
Avoid Rancorous Christians
Furthermore, the Bible advises Christians to avoid other Christians who engage in “strife, jealousy, outburst of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying” and so on.
Just look at Galatians 5:19 to see a list of these attitudes and behaviors. The apostle Paul tells us in 2 Timothy 3:5 and Romans 16:17 to clearly stay away from believers who are acting like this.
Forgive but Avoid
It is important to forgive immature Christians. If you won’t forgive others your Father may not forgive you as well. (See Matthew 6:15).
However, forgiving does not mean we are supposed to subject ourselves to repeated verbal or emotional abusiveness. If the erring “hot-tempered” person is a Christian we are to avoid contact with them until they change their behaviors as noted in the passages above.
We Stand Alone before Christ
“For we must all stand before Christ to be judged. We will each receive whatever we deserve for the good or evil we have done in this earthly body” (2 Corinthians 5:10, NLT).
The new believer is responsible for her own behaviors and attitudes.
Gaining Perspective
Last, we encourage all of our readers to subscribe to The Voice of the Martyrs magazine (it’s free). Sometimes immature American Christians (such as the one described on these pages) act clueless about the “real” world out there. (persecution.com)
Christians in other parts of the world face loss of family, confiscation of personal belongings, ostracism, persecutions, death threats and beheadings. Our own petty behaviors and feelings lose their “punch” when viewed against truly hard times faced by others.
So let’s all grow-up and learn to be grateful for what we have!
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