Divorce a Gay Spouse?
Biblical?
Q. I’m in a terrible situation and don’t know what to do. My husband has announced that he is gay and is leaving us to live with his partner. It’s not like I’m a youngster and can pick-up the pieces and move on. Should I divorce him? He says he can’t change even though he is still a Christian. He says he is hooked on pornography and internet porn. It’s an “addiction” and he intends to keep living this way.
Answer:
I wonder…is he saying he can’t change or won’t change?
Many people suffer from emotional problems including sexual-identity issues. But, they find strength to refrain from acting-out on their impulses to sin. “Go and sin no more,” is what Jesus frequently said to such persons.
Walk by the Spirit
In the case of sinning Christians we don’t believe the Lord would ask us to do things we are not capable of doing. The Apostle Paul says…“walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh” (Galatians 5:16).
So it appears more likely that your husband is willfully engaging in sinful behaviors.
Marital Infidelity
Jesus told us that marital infidelity is the only thing we may use as grounds for divorce. “And I say to you; whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery” (Matthew 19:9, ESV).
In Matthew 5:28 we also read, “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” This may be an applicable verse for those who are “hooked” on pornography.
A Time of Separation
Perhaps you can allow your husband to leave and then remain separated for awhile. This will offer you a chance to think about the situation first and to consult your pastor about what you should do. But, if you decide to divorce your husband it appears that you have scriptural grounds to do so.
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Related Article:
Emilio, V & K. Divorce among Christians. Articles: Family – Marriage section. Available from:www.RemnantReport.com.