Granddaughter’s Misbehavior
Should I Intervene?
Q. My grandchild is only nine years old. But, my adult Christian daughter puts make-up on her and paints her nails and toenails weekly at a cost of $60 visits to the beautician. She dresses her in completely matched expensive clothing, and doesn’t insist she do any homework, chores or anything else she doesn’t want to do. Should I do or say anything about this?
Answer:
Discipline? Intervention?
I’m sorry for the state of your daughter and grandchild. Once our children are adults and have their own children there isn’t too much we can or should do. We can insist upon certain standards and behaviors in our own homes. But, that’s about it.
Biblical Worldview?
I assume you tried to raise your daughter to be a Christian with a biblical worldview. None of us were perfect parents. But, if we taught our children about Christian beliefs and values we’ve done the best we can. You can pray for your grandchildren and try to set a good example. But beyond that there isn’t much left to do.
Recipe for Disaster
What a recipe for disaster with our young people! Yet, we see this everywhere – even in our churches. You aren’t alone. This is indicative of our culture and it will ultimately lead to God’s discipline of His beloved church.
Economic Dislocations
In fact, we suspect the beginning of this discipline may be occurring as we speak. We need only to observe the number of citizens losing their jobs and homes, and the number of disasters hitting our land to wonder if now is that time. You might wish to share this with your daughter.
Exodus Generations’ Sins
When the children of Israel moved into a new place God instructed them to destroy everything in that land (Deut. 7:1-6). This included destroying idolatrous peoples, their livestock, the buildings and their high places of worship. The Lord knew His children would incorporate into their Hebrew culture wicked practices unless they totally destroyed everything.
Paul warned us of this over and over. We see his warnings about the sins of the Exodus generation and about Christians being “benched” or disqualified from a productive Christian ministry in 1 Corinthians 9:24-10:13 and throughout the book of Hebrews.
Idolatry
The scary thing about these passages is that Paul warns against idolatry – or placing anything or anyone above the Lord (1 Cor. 10:7).
Paul warned of sexual immorality (1 Cor. 10:8). He warned about “trying the Lord” – or challenging and questioning God’s provisions for us or ways of dealing with us (1 Cor. 10:9). And he warned about “grumbling” and complaining – or whining about our circumstances (1 Cor. 10:10).
Wipe-Out
We view these as minor sins today. Yet, God wiped out a large faction of His own chosen people for these sins – He killed many of them! Many became deathly ill. Some were permanently disqualified from productive work due to these misbehaviors (see 1 Cor. 10:8-11). Paul said their sins and consequences for sins are an example for us:
Now these things happened to them as an example, but they were written down for our instruction, on whom the end of the ages has come (1 Cor. 10:11, ESV).
Saved by Grace but still Accountable
Yes – we are saved by grace through faith. Yet, the apostle Paul is warning the church that God didn’t put up with the Exodus generation for these things – and He won’t put up with His beloved church doing these sinful practices either.
We may suffer consequences here on earth. Or, we may suffer loss of reward at the judgment seat of Christ. Either way there are consequences for sinful behavior – even for those of us who enter heaven. Paul clearly states,
For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil (2 Corinthians 5:10, ESV).
Women of Judah
God uses the women of Judah as a warning to Jerusalem in Isaiah 3:16-26. This may be taken as a warning to our idolatrous churches today.
Listen to what the Lord says in a modern translation:
Flirtatious, decked-out Women
“The Lord says, ‘Beautiful Zion is haughty: craning her elegant neck, flirting with her eyes, walking with dainty steps, tinkling her ankle bracelets. So the Lord will send scabs on her head. The Lord will make beautiful Zion bald'” (Isa. 3:16-17, NLT).
Loss of Wealth
“On that day of judgment the Lord will strip away everything that makes her beautiful: ornaments, headbands, crescent necklaces, earrings, bracelets, and veils, scarves, ankle bracelets, sashes, perfumes, and charms, rings, jewels, party clothes, gowns, capes, and purses, mirrors, fine linen garments, head ornaments, and shawls” (Isa. 3:18-23).
A Stench
“Instead of smelling of sweet perfume, she will stink. She will wear a rope for a sash, and her elegant hair will fall out. She will wear rough burlap instead of rich robes. Shame will replace her beauty” (Isa. 3:24).
A destroyed Culture
“The gates of Zion will weep and mourn. The city will be like a ravaged woman, huddled on the ground” (Isaiah 3:26, NLT).
Clothing & Jewelry above God
The Life Application Study Bible comments:
“The women of Judah had placed their emphasis on clothing and jewelry rather than on God. They dressed to be noticed, to gain approval, and to be fashionable. Yet they ignored the real purpose for their lives. Instead of being concerned about the oppression around them (3:14, 15) they were self-serving and self-centered. People who abuse their possessions will end up with nothing” (2002, p. 1426).
Description of Judgment
Ezekiel 7:10-27 gives a clear description of God’s judgment upon wayward Israel. Concerning this passage the Life Application comments say this:
“In chapter 7, Ezekiel predicts the complete destruction of Israel. The wicked and proud will finally get what they deserve. If it seems as though God ignores the evil and proud people of our day, be assured that a day of judgment will come, just as it came for the people of Israel” (2004, 1701).
What happened during God’s judgment of Israel?
The Economy is Destroyed
The people were violent and arrogant. So God destroyed their economy:
“Buyers should not rejoice over bargains, nor sellers grieve over losses, for all of them will fall under my terrible anger” (Ezekiel 7:12).
Diseases
There were plagues and famine:
“There is war outside the city and disease and famine within” (Ezek. 7:15).
Fancy Clothes Ruined
Israel lost their clothing and shelter:
“They will dress themselves in burlap. Horror and shame will cover them…” (Ezekiel 7:18).
Their Currency was Destroyed
God destroyed their currency – the value of their money:
“They will throw their money in the streets, tossing it out like worthless trash. Their silver and gold won’t save them on that day of the Lord’s anger. It will neither satisfy nor feed them, for their greed can only trip them up” (Ezek. 7:19).
Valuables given to Foreigners
God gave their possessions to wicked foreigners:
“They were proud of their beautiful jewelry and used it to make detestable idols and vile images. Therefore, I will make all their wealth disgusting to them. I will give it as plunder to foreigners, to the most wicked of nations…I will turn my eyes from them as these robbers invade and defile my treasured land” (Ezek. 7:20-22).
Does our nation question why we are infiltrated by illegal immigrants and dangerous terrorists who wish us harm? Can we see a pattern here?
Immigrants occupy their Homes
Wicked, cruel immigrants would occupy their homes:
“I will bring the most ruthless of nations to occupy their homes. …Terror and trembling will overcome my people. They will look for peace but not find it” (Ezekiel 7:24).
Disaster upon Disaster but no Guidance from God
God warned that the nation would suffer catastrophes and disasters. But, they would not feel God’s presence anymore:
“Calamity will follow calamity. Rumor will follow rumor. They will look in vain for a vision from the prophets. They will receive no teaching from the priests and no counsel from the leaders” (Ezekiel 7:26-27).
Saturate your Life with Godly Values
As a good example to your granddaughter you may wish to follow the advice from Deuteronomy 6:4-9:
“Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength” (Deut. 6:4).
“And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates” (Deut. 6:6-9).
Christian Multi-Media
In modern terms, play Christian CDs and videos in your house. Keep your radio and television tuned to Christian stations. Keep various Bible translations and youth Bibles placed around your home. Hang pictures of guardian angels hovering over children, and hang Scripture verses in each room. Play Christian music in your car. Take your grandkids to church camps and Christian activities. Take your grandkids with you to donate clothes and food to rescue missions. Pray at each meal and pray for each other.
Teach them Well
It isn’t too late. God tells us to:
…“tell to the generation to come the praises of the Lord, and His strength and His wondrous works that He has done…That they should teach them (the law) to their children, that the generation to come might know, even the children yet to be born, that they may arise and tell them to their children, that they should put their confidence in God and not forget the works of God, but keep His commandments”… (Psalm 78:4-7, NASB).
Grandparent’s Prayer
“And even when I am old and gray, O God, do not forsake me, until I declare Your strength to this generation, your power to all who are to come” (Psalm 71:18, NASB).
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References:
Benware, Paul. 2002. The believer’s payday. Chattanooga, TN: AMG.
Life Application Study Bible, NLT, large-print edition. 2004. Carol Stream, ILL: Tyndale.
Ryrie Study Bible, NASB. 1996. Chicago: Moody.